Could He Be The One?

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

God first gave me this verse months ago one morning when I was in the middle of vociferously and fervently praying for my never ending need and desire for a husband.  My prayer went something like this, “ Oh Lord, I don’t care what he does or what he looks like as long as he’s......................thus beginning my long list full of unrealistic and some realistic expectations.     After reading this verse and praying this prayer ironically enough I headed out my door and meet a guy at Krispy Kreme (this was only the second time in my life I’d ever set foot inside a K.K.).  I could’ve never imagined that I would land a date at K.K.  God is funny like that sometimes, but I wasn’t laughing.  I think at that moment God and I both knew that the K.K. guy was not my future husband, but in that moment He was testing the motive and truthfulness of my prayer. “Oh Lord, I don’t care what he does or what he looks like.”  Yeah right, I lied.  It’s funny how quick I am to reject the shepherd boy, that actually could be a diamond in the rough.

However, taking all that into account, as well as my long list of “have to haves” there are still some things that were true to David’s character when God plucked him from amongst the flock that I feel should be true of my future husband.  Some characteristics are innate; God given.  Now once one has chosen to come to him and is filled with his Spirit they then grow in those positive characteristics and attributes, but by being made in His likeness they are there from the start(some of you will probably disagree with me, but whatever).  When David was first called to appear before King Saul his character and attributes were well known, and heralded. “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the LORD is with him.”  
1 Samuel 16:18

It’s easy for me to forget knowing all that David accomplished in his life, where he actually started from.  When God chose David he had not yet become what he was to become, but he was in the process of becoming all that he was to become.  I have been too quick at times to dismiss good men, because I have created in my mind some mark that they must meet before they are datable, not realizing that they as well as myself are in process.  But knowing this is still no reason for me or you to ever settle.  Though he may be in process his God given character, attributes, and good reputation should already be present.  David was already a believer who had the Spirit and presence of the Lord with him. He was already a prudent man in speech and decisions, he was a man of war; a warrior courageous in battle, he was a man of valor with a great countenance who was bold, brave, determined, and not to be intimidated.  He was indeed on his way to being all that God intended, and that could not be denied by anyone.  

1 Samuel 16:18 made me re-evaluate my expectations of men.  My future husband doesn't have to be perfect or anywhere close to perfection, but he does have to be in process.  He does however have to posses some irrevocable,  irreplaceable, concrete traits.  He has to be a man with the presence of the Lord resting with him and it him.  It is my prayer that the Father would purge me of those superficial expectations that keep me from seeing the heart of a godly man who is waiting to pursue the heart of a godly woman.

Jonah Was Right.

That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. 

Jonah 4:2

Jonah was right, the Ninevites didn't deserve the Lord's grace, mercy, and compassion. But who really does?  Jonah forgot were he once was and what God had saved him from becoming.  He forgot that he too was a sinner. Being blinded by self-righteousness he didn't recognize that he was still very much in need of God's grace, compassion, and mercy. Through out the book of Jonah I'm humbled by the grace, mercy, and compassion that God shows him (which he did not deserve) even in the midst of his self-righteousness and disobedience. Salvation is the Lords. So when He calls us to share The Gospel it's not up to us to decide if those he's calling us to share it with are worthy enough, but that decision has already been made.  Salvation is there for anyone with a repentant heart, no matter the offense.  Who are we to deny others this great gift that was given us. It's because of this great gift that Jonah's obedience as well as our own should be forthcoming. We are to be obedient even if we're right and justified in our thinking.  Jonah was right the Ninevites were evil; they were murderers and adulterers. They were so evil that Jonah would have rather died than to see their salvation.  

Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live. Jonah 4:3

  

Although Jonah was right about the Ninevites he needed to be reminded as I often do of what servant-hood looks like.  He needed to be shown that justice and salvation was not his to divvy out. When we're obedient, justice is always served one way or another, but always in God's timing.  Just a couple of books later in Nahum we find out that Nineveh would most certainly be destroyed, but that was God's sovereign choice. Jonah had to learn that He wasn't God, and that obedience, impartiality, mercy, grace, and compassion are vital parts of servant-hood.  Without them we are no longer serving God, but ourselves. Even if we're right, we shouldn't let our self-righteousness, and limited understanding stand in the way of an obedient response to God, which allows us to show His all encompassing character. God's ways and methodology will always be better than our own because they never forsake the greater vision.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so our my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

Lost Identity?

No matter how you feel about Oprah, you would have to agree that her success as minority(in every sense of the word) has been phenomenal.  As she closes out 25 years of having the highest rated talk show in the history of television.  I’ve started to wonder, without her where would the presence of positive minority women in the media be found. Granted, we do have a very well spoken, well educated, and beautiful first lady, but even she has very little presence in the media when it comes to being anything other than being a fashionista. Oprah unlike our first lady  has been a constant on TV for a quarter of a century.  Not sense Phylicia Rashad’s character (Clair Huxtable) have minority women been represented so well in the media.  No African American woman before her had ever been give given such a mainstream platform. None had ever spoken with such elegance, subverting racial barriers while all the while managing her family and a successful career.  Although Clair Huxtable is a fictional character, both her and Oprah have had a profound effect on how minority women are perceived in the media.

For the past few years shows have come and gone on ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX; and rarely if ever have I ever seen an African American, Asian, or Hispanic woman play the lead role, or be the leading man’s love interest. Currently Grey’s Anatomy is the closest we’ve come to this kind of media presence in years.  No matter how you feel about the show you have to admit they have one of the most diverse cast in television today. Usually minority women are almost always play  the role of sidekick or the funny friend.  This has been the case for years since shows like the Cosby Show, Fresh Prince of Bel-air, A Different World, and Living Single went off the air in the 90’s.  Now we’re told sub consciously that being an African American, Asian, or  Hispanic woman is only useful when your funny or when you have no visible flaws and a skin tone that our all white audiences recognize as acceptable.  I mean we’d hate to offend anyone, or make someone uncomfortable.  Television is suppose to be our ex scape, our fantasy.  The problem is, is that we’ve started to allow that fantasy to influence our reality.  This is precisely the reason why the article on CNN.com by LZ Grandersonhttp://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/05/19/granderson.black.women/index.html so profoundly struck me.  Although we hate to admit it, how we think is very much influenced by what we see in the media today.  We are a visually stimulated culture, we like television, movies, and magazines; we’re obsessed with pretty people, who wear pretty things, and have cute pets.  We like instant gratification and we don’t like like things that make us uncomfortable or remind us of our flaws. So what happens to a woman’s self-esteem when she never sees anyone like herself positively portrayed in the media?  She starts to doubt.  She thinks she must not be beautiful, funny, or smart, so she is incited  to do something to make herself like all the other women that are what the world recognizes as beautiful.  So black women have taken to bleaching their skin,  dying their hair, or adding lengthy extensions, and Asian women have taken to going under the knife to get their eye lids widened, and many of the same issues plague Hispanic, Caucasian, and women of every ethnicity everywhere.  I’m not thin enough, my breast aren’t big enough, I must stay young, my eyelashes aren’t long enough, my skin isn’t the right color or tone, I must be perfect.

As strong as I may seem for years I have questioned my beauty.  As much as I hate to admit it sometimes I fail to find my identity and beauty in Christ and have sought to find it elsewhere.  To be told you’re beautiful is a wonderful, freeing, reassuring thing.  The media fails to do this with any kind of consistency that will last.  But Jesus does this continuously, constantly, and veraciously .  The creator himself has indeed made us beautiful. We are his creation, so we could never be anything less than beautiful.  Now whether we are a good stewards of the beauty that God has given us is another topic, but beautiful is what we are and  daughters of the most high King is who we are. Nothing in this world can ever change that.  Our identities must be bound up with Christ; found in God alone.  This kind of reassurance and confidence will never be found in the media.  We are victorious because Christ has made us that way, we are beautiful because God created us to be so; apart from what we may look like or feel like in the present moment. We are successful because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Philippians 4:13. As women lets be faithful to remind each other where our true beauty comes from. Continuously reminding one another of how God views us.  

You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,  and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,  and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married. Isaiah 62:3-4

Consistently God

“For I the LORD do not change; Malachi 3:6


I often forget that God is consistent and unchanging.  These are two of God's many characteristics that are reflected in both the new and old testaments.  He proves himself to us time and time, and time again.  He answers prayer, fulfills every promise that he makes, and provides our every need before we even think to ask, and then some. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17


I was reading 1st Kings 3:11-13 the other day when I was overwhelmed by God's consistent nature, his unchangeable character, and his goodness.  What's awesome is, is that He's been this way since the beginning of time.  I've  been the inconsistent, forever flaky, rebellious, unfaithful one; just like David and Solomon.

In the beginning of 1 Kings God is setting the stage to expand His kingdom and prosper His people, as well as the leadership he's established. He begins by fulfilling one of the many promises that he made to David, by making Solomon, his son, king; that was no small thing. It was  miraculous considering that the kingdom was being stolen from David and Solomon without their knowledge.  Once again here God proves himself to be trustworthy, consistent, and the ultimate promise keeper.  King Solomon realizes right away that the promise he'd inherited of being king over the multitude would not be easy; being a leader never is.  Humbled by this great responsibility Solomon ask God for an understanding mind to govern the people, so that he could discern between good and evil, because he knew that a successful reign couldn't happen without God. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  Matthew 7:7-8 So God being consistent, unchanging, good, and faithful, not only gives Solomon what he ask for, but he gives him abundantly more than he even thought to ask.  And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, behold, I now do according to your word. Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.  I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days. 1 Kings 3:11-13


Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11
I found myself after reading 1 Kings being overwhelmed, by God's goodness, consistency, and unchangeable character, but by His desire to bless us; to be our Father.  God keeps his promises and pours out his many blessings upon us; not just because we ask, but because he's our Father and it pleases him to honor our faithfulness.  Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4

Back to the Cross!

You know, I really am delusional. At times I think way to highly of myself lacking Christ like humility. Sometimes I think I'm beyond temptation, and that I am no longer a sinner. This perspective is one that has poisoned the minds of many that have come before me. It's deadly!

In fighting the battle against sin and temptation I've realized that I am not beyond sin or temptation. "Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall." 1 Corinthians 10:12 Although I'm still a sinner, I'm no longer a slave to sin. I have the ability through Christ alone to resist temptation, which is the language of the flesh, that speaks to my sin nature. "But each one is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." James 1:14-15 A lack of humility will lead me to a worldly death. It is Him who has done and is doing all the work. It is his breathe that I breath, it is His strength that upholds me, and it Is His Spirit that sanctifies me. "I have no good apart from Him." Psalm 16:2 "I am the vine you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

The problem with our culture is(Christian Culture), is that we have not realized our own depravity. We see everybody else's just fine, and praise ourselves for not being like them. But what we don't see, what I don't see, is that I would've been and could still easily become just like "Them" if not for the grace of God. We are not beyond sin; and we are all, murderers, thieves, and adulterers. Jesus said it best in the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 5-7:1-27 Realizing our own depravity goes along with the sanctification process. The Cross serves as a constant reminder of our depravity and the escape from it. It is at the foot of the cross where we are humbled and lead to repentance. It is my prayer that I would be reminded daily of my own depravity, which would lead be to repentance, then praise, of a merciful, gracious, and good God who is mighty to save.

My Bike Almost Killed Me

With the birth of a new year has risen my lofty ambition to workout, to become the healthiest me I can be for the year and hopefully beyond.  After all, any good New Year's resolution should cause me to make serious lifestyle changes or the desired result will never come to pass.  Anyway, I digress.  So yesterday I decided to go for a bike ride through my neighborhood, which is much bigger than the picture I was shown on google maps (google tricks me once again).  I'm not sure what I was thinking or if I was thinking, but at 6:30pm I put on the closest thing that resembled workout clothes, grabbed my jacket, and set off.  Me and my lofty ambition.  As the 39 degree wind whipped me in the face I was feeling pretty good, cruising down the street on my lean green fat grilling machine.  I'll admit, that for a second I thought I was Lance Armstrong in the winning stretch of the Tour de France.  However the fantasy quickly gave way to reality when I realized that my decent was becoming a long accent back home.  My heart was racing, legs tingling, and at one point I'm pretty sure I lost a lung.  It was at this point when I realized some things that would put my lofty goal of Tour de Neighborhood out of reach for the moment.  Before I knew it I had turned around without hesitation, gotten off my bike, and started pushing it back home.  Then came the realization that I lacked mental stamina, which explains why I lack the ability to physically endure tough circumstances when they come my way.  When things get tough I like to quit.  

As I pushed my bike up hill, I was reminded of an old movie I'd seen called Breaking Away.  The lead character Dave is completely obsessed with competitive cycling (I'm not at this point yet).  By the final race of the movie, Dave outshines his competitors when he rides without taking a break to gain the lead in the race.  However when Dave is injured he has to stop, which causes him to forfeit the lead.  Just like Dave there will be times in our lives when we'll have to stop.  At that time the desire to quit will be stronger than ever.  Prompted by that desire we'll be tempted out of frustration and a fear of failure to cheat; to find a way around the disciplines that God has set before us, but there is no other way but His. 

A competitor like Dave never quits, so Dave has his friends strap his feet to the pedals of his bike, and amidst all the pain and agony Dave regains the lead and wins the race.  I  wonder what kept Dave going?  It couldn't have been just his physical strength, so what was it?  Mental Stamina..that's it.  This is what allows us to physically endure anything.  Jesus had it, Paul had it, and Peter had it.  They knew the reality of their mission.  They knew that hardships would surely come and when they did, they knew they would be mentally prepared for them if they keep their mind steadfast on the truth, the ultimate goal being Christ.

As Christians we have been empowered by the Holy Spirit, which indwells us and imparts truth to us, which then allows us to be strengthened at our core.  Our fleshly will, will only get us so far. So being dependent on God to strengthen our minds and hearts is where it starts.  Mental Stamina will always lead to physical endurance, but physical endurance can not be maintained if we are mentally broken.  That's why I, and you should heed Paul's words.  1 Corinthians 9:26, 2 Timothy 2:5, Colossians 2:18-19, Philippians 3:13-16, and James 1:12

Shipwrecked: The Better Plan

The other day while I was making the long drive from Virginia back to Florida, I heard this pastor on the radio addressing the subject of God's plan for our lives. He was asked what it meant when we start out with Plan A and end up on Plan B? I've asked myself this question numerous times over the past year. And after much reflection God has revealed to me that I suffer from a very limited perspective. Most of the time we equate Plan B with being bad, or being our punishment for messing up along the path of Plan A, but this perspective lacks an understanding of God's grace and who He says that He is. Sometimes we do end up having to go with Plan B, because of a circumstantial crisis caused by disobedience, or selfishness, but for most of us who would claim to follow God's leading, we wouldn't put ourselves in this category. What happens when you've sought God in prayer consistently, for direction and wisdom, and still you find yourself on Plan B?

Sometimes because of my limited perspective Plan B can feel like a shipwreck, but what I think is a shipwreck is really God's plan A. And my Plan B has been God's Plan A all along. After graduating from seminary I had to release my Plan A to God, not because it was selfish or unachievable, but because God had to revamp my plan, so that it totally reflected Him, and at this very moment He is still in the process of refining me and my original Plan A to fit His bigger, better plan for the glory of the kingdom. So in doing this, He has made what I would've considered Plan B into His plan A.

Now all of that may be a little confusing, but the point is, is that if we are seeking the Lord and following His leading there is never a Plan B, but only His Plan A. Romans 8:28 states that He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. Our God is not a Plan B kind of god, but He works all things out according to His Plan A. So be encouraged, never loosing hope, because Plan B is right where we need to be.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:9