Few of us think of grief as a good thing. There's even fewer of us that actually like to spend the time it takes in the grieving process for healing to occur. Therapist often use something called the Kubler Ross model to explain how the grieving process works. It breaks grief down, into five stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Anyone who has or will ever lose something or someone can find themselves at one of these stages at some point in their lives. I myself at different points in life, especially those points of transition find myself grieving things i've lost in different ways, but no matter the way I choose to grieve. Grieving must occur, and I have to make sure that my grief is not standing in the way of my relationship with God.
Grief, is a natural, necessary part of life if we intend to grow and function as mature adults. Grief is defined as deep distress, sadness, or regret; especially for the loss of someone or something loved. So according to this definition grief is inevitable and can not be prevented unless we close ourselves off from everyone and everything, hoping that we might somehow avoid experiencing loss of any kind. But this kind of avoidance is impossible. Even in our avoidance we will eventually start to grieve those things lost by our selfish desire to avoid pain. Avoidance is only one way that we may try and protect ourselves from loss, and it's only an inlet that grief may enter in through. Loss that spurs on grief generally comes in a more conspicuous way; I.e., death, divorce, loss of friendship, job, or a loved one's approval. It can be spurred on by a feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, or smart enough. All of these things, and many others can be occasions for grief.
Examining some of grief's ways of entry, has made me realize that shielding myself from grief can never be the answer. In fact, like I said before it is impossible. Guarding myself against grief would only lead to a calloused heart and an unwilling spirit, one that's consumed with self-pity and self-loathing. To be watchful as I grieve losses is very important, and it is something that I'm still learning, so that when those times of intense grief happen I don't fall victim to self-pity or self-loathing. If I allow myself to get ensnared here, The Enemy of my soul (who seeks only my death) will have me take blame for, sit in shame over, and accuse me of being the cause of circumstances that were beyond my control. But when I allow God to step into my grief, re-directing my attention towards Him and the reality of my circumstance, my grief becomes useful and redeemable. Grieving this way, with Christ at the center produces earnestness (diligence) that moves us to reach beyond ourselves and our negative circumstances, into an eager intent to pursue Christ; which propels us toward steadfastness, as we trust and believe that the Lord is good and faithful. Earnestness and a proper perspective on grief is essential to us as disciples as we grow in our faith. Without these things we would sucome to a great number of grievous circumstances that will assail us as we live this life devoted to Christ. Just like everything else in our lives grief serves a purpose. So just when we think the pain of searing loss is or was all in vain, we can be comforted by these words. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 2 Corinthians 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11, and Isaiah 51:3
