Captured By Grief

Few of us think of grief as a good thing. There's even fewer of us that actually like to spend the time it takes in the grieving process for healing to occur. Therapist often use something called the Kubler Ross model to explain how the grieving process works. It breaks grief down, into five stages; denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Anyone who has or will ever lose something or someone can find themselves at one of these stages at some point in their lives. I myself at different points in life, especially those points of transition find myself grieving things i've lost in different ways, but no matter the way I choose to grieve. Grieving must occur, and I have to make sure that my grief is not standing in the way of my relationship with God.

Grief, is a natural, necessary part of life if we intend to grow and function as mature adults. Grief is defined as deep distress, sadness, or regret; especially for the loss of someone or something loved. So according to this definition grief is inevitable and can not be prevented unless we close ourselves off from everyone and everything, hoping that we might somehow avoid experiencing loss of any kind. But this kind of avoidance is impossible. Even in our avoidance we will eventually start to grieve those things lost by our selfish desire to avoid pain. Avoidance is only one way that we may try and protect ourselves from loss, and it's only an inlet that grief may enter in through. Loss that spurs on grief generally comes in a more conspicuous way; I.e., death, divorce, loss of friendship, job, or a loved one's approval. It can be spurred on by a feeling of not being good enough, pretty enough, rich enough, or smart enough. All of these things, and many others can be occasions for grief.

Examining some of grief's ways of entry, has made me realize that shielding myself from grief can never be the answer. In fact, like I said before it is impossible. Guarding myself against grief would only lead to a calloused heart and an unwilling spirit, one that's consumed with self-pity and self-loathing. To be watchful as I grieve losses is very important, and it is something that I'm still learning, so that when those times of intense grief happen I don't fall victim to self-pity or self-loathing. If I allow myself to get ensnared here, The Enemy of my soul (who seeks only my death) will have me take blame for, sit in shame over, and accuse me of being the cause of circumstances that were beyond my control. But when I allow God to step into my grief, re-directing my attention towards Him and the reality of my circumstance, my grief becomes useful and redeemable. Grieving this way, with Christ at the center produces earnestness (diligence) that moves us to reach beyond ourselves and our negative circumstances, into an eager intent to pursue Christ; which propels us toward steadfastness, as we trust and believe that the Lord is good and faithful. Earnestness and a proper perspective on grief is essential to us as disciples as we grow in our faith. Without these things we would sucome to a great number of grievous circumstances that will assail us as we live this life devoted to Christ. Just like everything else in our lives grief serves a purpose. So just when we think the pain of searing loss is or was all in vain, we can be comforted by these words. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, 2 Corinthians 1:9, Jeremiah 29:11, and Isaiah 51:3

Purposeful Steps

Last Friday I attended Florida A & M's annual homecoming step show where all of the Divine Nine would be performing; Alpha Kappa Alpha, Alpha Phi Alpha, Delta Sigma Theta, Iota Phi Theta, Kappa Alpha Psi, Omega Psi Phi, Phi Beta Sigma, Sigma Gamma Rho, and Zeta Phi Beta. Each group took the stage interfusing a robust, yet creative balance of rhythmic steps and chants. Some groups of course were better and more energetic than others, but by the end of the show their mission to represent their fraternity or sorority through systematic steps, chants, and strolls had been accomplished.

I sat there watching the crowd stream into the arena with immeasurable energy and excitement. Each former alum of their organization was dressed to the nines in their flyest (if you're unfamiliar with this term see Urban Dictionary.com) outfit as they marched to their seat. The bass thudded throughout the arena, transporting us to another time and place...and the music, a mix of hip/hop and Classic R&B hung in the air as pleasant memories of the past resurfaced while new ones were etched into our minds.

It was at that moment that I wondered if these organizations were still representing the core values and principles they were founded upon, or were they now setting out to fulfill another more inferior purpose? This new purpose, one being designed by the world and defined by the current culture to maintain relevance, not loose cool points, and glorify one's self doesn't align with the intent of their original mission.

Many African American Greek Organizations were formed with an emphasis on public service and civil rights. Each promoting community awareness and action through educational, economic, and cultural service activities. The birth of each black fraternity or sorority (the Divine Nine) bore witness to the fact that despite hardships African Americans refused to succeed to a status of inferiority. Servanthood, justice, and empowerment of the outcast were their catalyst; their ability to identify with the felt needs of their communities, as well as their fellow man were their fuel. These organizations represented a turning point in a time of struggle...love in a time of hate, and selflessness in a time of selfishness. Each step, chant, or stroll was meant to encourage and empower the downtrodden and the outcast.

So are those core values still being lived out today? I hope so! It's my desire that we would all be agents of change, choosing to stand for something greater than ourselves; not letting the high tides of the current culture change us, but being the under current that changes the culture. After all, we were created for a purpose far greater than being cool, cute, relevant, or fashionable.

As for you always be sober-minded, endure suffering, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry. 2 Timothy 4:5

Celebrate 28!

Today I turned 28. What! How did this happen? Where did the time go? When I was 17 this land where I dwell now(late twenties) seemed so distant. It's funny how when we're younger we wish we were older, and once we get older some of us wish we could jump in a time machine and go back a few years. Getting older is hard work. I mean it's tough coming to grips with your own immortality, to live with no regrets, and to accept the fact that your life may not ever look the way you thought it would when you were younger. However in Christ there is always hope. He turns our youthful plans into something grandiose, regrets into possibilities; opportunities for repentance. And as we get older he continues to mature us in our faith until one day our mortality will lead us to heaven where we will dwell with him for eternity. Twenty seven was a great year, but it was a tough one. I spent a lot of time questioning God's plan for my life, teeter-tottering back and forth from impenitence to regret; asking God to somehow change some of the circumstances in my life that I thought should be a little different, or at least a little easier. It's in these times that I forgot that long suffering is part of being conformed to the image of Christ. So it has been in these circumstances that God has grown me the most, purifying my motives and mortifying my flesh. As painful as that process was and still is, it is a blessing. And the lessons learned from the process are weightier than two lifetimes worth of Gold.

To recap what God taught me at 27 has been challenging. My vocabulary doesn't seem to contain the words I need to be as descriptive as I would like, but I'll give it a try anyway.

This time last year I embarked on a new adventure and moved to Tallahassee. Since moving here I have experienced God's provision like never before. His faithfulness to provide transportation, housing, and a job within a month of my getting here was astounding. Through it I learned that His sustaining provision has not, and will not fail me. I really can trust Him to provide my every need. Psalm 39:5; Psalm 54:4; Psalm 55:22

There were several times over the last year when I just wanted to do my own thing. This led me into a rebellion against God, but even in my disobedience His grace, patience, and mercy towards me never ceased to flow. He never stops being God. Even in our rebellion he cannot deny himself. "if we are faithless, he remains faithful for He can not deny Himself." 2 Timothy 2:13; Psalm 23:6

Sometimes I get impatient. I am a doer at heart. I hate to admit that, but it's true. To me, being active equates being useful and sometimes this is not always true. Waiting on God is sometimes the only action that needs to be taken. We are being refined and prepared even in those times when it seems as if i'm doing nothing. Waiting is not a curse or a punishment, but waiting is part of God fulfilling his purpose for me. Psalm 27:14; Psalm 37:34; Psalm138:8

I hate letting people into my life. Allowing someone to love me and allowing myself to fall in love with them has always been hard for me. Intimacy is scary. If I learned nothing else over the past year this last lesson would've been enough. It's one that I wrestle with daily. Intimacy with Christ is a privilege. One that is often taken for granted. It's not a discipline, although it can be found through practicing spiritual disciplines, and it's not a ritual or something that can be faked. Intimacy is familiarity with God, through Christ. It is knowing him personally and allowing him to know me personally. Ultimately it's the only way that God relates to us. He is never impersonal. Psalm 139; Hebrews 4:15; Ephesians 2:4-8

Each year God allows us to continue to mature is a blessing, and throughout that year, as well as every other year to follow we should walk in a way that's honoring to him. Remembering to be joyful, confident in Him, and full of hope. Isaiah 55:12; Romans 15:13

Abandoning God

One of the hardest things that we have to consistently do as Christians is maintain intimacy within our relationship with Christ.  This seems easiest when things are good and seemingly going our way.  However, when things are good we can forget to be thankful, which quenches   the spirit praise. In the midst of having an ungrateful heart we then tend to forget what long suffering looks like; we forget how to continue to seek God for our daily provisions and instead we forsake God's way in pursuit of our own. We become self-righteous, greedy, and prideful; neglecting prayer and abandoning God.  Then  stepping away from Him towards our own will, we become blind to our need for Him, failing to see Him as a necessity in our lives.  


We inherited this problem from the Israelites. They struggled with the same exact issue.  Throughout the book of judges we see the Israelites receive deliverance, and then after a period of time, a time of good, plenty, and peace they abandon God; treating Him like some genie, using him for their own gain. Then once help was given they turned back to doing there own thing, which was not God's way.  The people of Israel again did what was evil in the sight of the Lord and served the Baals and the Ashtaroth, the gods of Syria, the gods of Sidon, the gods of Moab, the gods of th Ammonites, and the God's of the Philistines. And they forsook the Lord and did not serve him. Judges 10:6


The Israelites had forgotten that Adonai Elyon (The Lord Most High), is indeed the most high; and just like the Israelites we are a forgetful people.  Forgetting that He is awesome, worthy of our devotion, and praise at all times.  For the Lord, the Most High is awesome a great king over all the earth. Psalm 47:2  We have treated God like Israel treated Jephthah.  We continue to deny Him daily what is rightfully his; rule over our lives, our bodies, our lands, and other possessions, chasing Him out of the city (our hearts) like the son of a prostitute, in pursuit of our own way. 1Corinthians 6:19-20; 1 Chronicles 29:10-13  Then when times are hard we are quick to flock to this same God that we previously abandoned seeking help.  " But Jephthah said to the elders of Gilead, did you not hate me and drive me out of my Father's  house? why have you come to me now when you are in distress? Judges 11:7  One of the awesome things about God is that he's not vindictive or malicious like us. He always stays true to who he is, even in our moments, hours, months, and years of betrayal and unfaithfulness he still remains faithful to his people. Judges 11:11; 2 Timothy 2:10-13


It's really hard to keep Christ at the center of our lives living in a world that's been polluted by our own agendas, but it's something that we have to do.  We have to continually seek intimacy with Christ at all times; not just in times of want or deliverance, but in times of joy and plenty also.  He desires our love, praise and devotion at all times, as well as a relationship with his people.  To be in a relationship with God is a call to abandon the belief systems of this world while seeking God at all times.  He is not a genie, but a loving God! 

The Righteous Shall Live By Faith.

O Lord, how long shall I cry for help, and you will not hear? Or cry to you violence and you will not save? Habakkuk 1:1

I feel like I have a lot in common with Habakkuk at this point in my life. I find myself complaining continually about the state of the world, my life, and great injustices that I feel are taking place.  I keep wondering when God is going to step in and change my circumstances.  Just like the complaint of Habakkuk mine has not fallen on def ears.  He has answered “Look among the nations, and see; wonder and be astounded. For I am doing a work in your days that you would not believe if told.” Habakkuk 1:5

What happens when you take that first look, and you see nothing worth taking another glance at? You’re circumstances to you seem unbearable, there’s war, poverty, death, and hedonism everywhere and there’s no clear path of escape.  How then do you look among the nations (your life), and see; wonder, be astounded?  Easier said than done, right?  It’s here that God reminds us what it’s all about.  “the righteous shall live by his faith.” Habakkuk 2:4.  I have to be able to look at my life and believe that God is in control, that even when I don’t see good, he is good, and because he is good he is doing something good; something more wonderful than I could have ever imagined.

I must confess I have been guilty of chronic doubt.  I’ve doubted my purpose, who God is, my gifts, talents, relationships, and vision.  Many times I even doubted God’s sovereignty.  I’ve spent the past few months living my life in “the what ifs” of doubt.  It probably sounds silly to most, but once I committed my life to Christ, and said Lord here I am, I trust you.  I didn’t realize (until now) that I would have to keep doing this continually and intentionally....uh, duh.   See living by faith is continually trusting the Lord with those things both seen and unseen.  This is the very definition of hope, which stems from faith; faith allows us to trust, and trust is a must.  In the past I’ve based my trust only on things that I’ve seen, which isn’t necessarily bad, because in many ways I’ve learned how to trust Him because of who I’ve experienced him to be in my life.  But he is calling me to a deeper level of trust.  He’s calling me to look past my present reality, not ignore it, but look past it, into the hope that is Christ.  That is to be my reality.  In Joshua 23:14 we learn that not one of his good promises goes unfulfilled. And then in Ephesians 3:20 we are told that He can do exceedingly above all that we can ask or think. These two verses are just some of the many proofs that confirm He is doing a work that far exceeds our greatest expectations of Him.  So when He ask us to trust him continually with our whole heart, believing that he is sovereign and good, there’s no reason why we shouldn’t.  Deliverance will come, poverty will cease, injustices will be made right, and our path will be made straight.  It is not our job to make sure these things happen, but by trusting the Lord we are able to partake as vessels in what He is already doing.

By the end of Habakkuk’s book he realizes that God is indeed in control and has been the whole time.  The problem was that Habakkuk had forgotten that the righteous were to live by faith, he needed to be reminded to trust in the Lord no matter what, because He is good and sovereign in any and every circumstance, worthy of all the praise and glory. “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God, the Lord, is my strength; he makes my feet like the deer's; he makes me tread on my high places.”  Habakkuk 3:17-19

So when all is said and done It can not be refuted that He is God, He alone is good, and it is in Him that we must put our complete trust; hour by hour, minute by minute no matter the surrounding circumstances.

Could He Be The One?

But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7 ESV

God first gave me this verse months ago one morning when I was in the middle of vociferously and fervently praying for my never ending need and desire for a husband.  My prayer went something like this, “ Oh Lord, I don’t care what he does or what he looks like as long as he’s......................thus beginning my long list full of unrealistic and some realistic expectations.     After reading this verse and praying this prayer ironically enough I headed out my door and meet a guy at Krispy Kreme (this was only the second time in my life I’d ever set foot inside a K.K.).  I could’ve never imagined that I would land a date at K.K.  God is funny like that sometimes, but I wasn’t laughing.  I think at that moment God and I both knew that the K.K. guy was not my future husband, but in that moment He was testing the motive and truthfulness of my prayer. “Oh Lord, I don’t care what he does or what he looks like.”  Yeah right, I lied.  It’s funny how quick I am to reject the shepherd boy, that actually could be a diamond in the rough.

However, taking all that into account, as well as my long list of “have to haves” there are still some things that were true to David’s character when God plucked him from amongst the flock that I feel should be true of my future husband.  Some characteristics are innate; God given.  Now once one has chosen to come to him and is filled with his Spirit they then grow in those positive characteristics and attributes, but by being made in His likeness they are there from the start(some of you will probably disagree with me, but whatever).  When David was first called to appear before King Saul his character and attributes were well known, and heralded. “Behold, I have seen a son of Jesse the Bethlehemite, who is skillful in playing, a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the LORD is with him.”  
1 Samuel 16:18

It’s easy for me to forget knowing all that David accomplished in his life, where he actually started from.  When God chose David he had not yet become what he was to become, but he was in the process of becoming all that he was to become.  I have been too quick at times to dismiss good men, because I have created in my mind some mark that they must meet before they are datable, not realizing that they as well as myself are in process.  But knowing this is still no reason for me or you to ever settle.  Though he may be in process his God given character, attributes, and good reputation should already be present.  David was already a believer who had the Spirit and presence of the Lord with him. He was already a prudent man in speech and decisions, he was a man of war; a warrior courageous in battle, he was a man of valor with a great countenance who was bold, brave, determined, and not to be intimidated.  He was indeed on his way to being all that God intended, and that could not be denied by anyone.  

1 Samuel 16:18 made me re-evaluate my expectations of men.  My future husband doesn't have to be perfect or anywhere close to perfection, but he does have to be in process.  He does however have to posses some irrevocable,  irreplaceable, concrete traits.  He has to be a man with the presence of the Lord resting with him and it him.  It is my prayer that the Father would purge me of those superficial expectations that keep me from seeing the heart of a godly man who is waiting to pursue the heart of a godly woman.

Jonah Was Right.

That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. 

Jonah 4:2

Jonah was right, the Ninevites didn't deserve the Lord's grace, mercy, and compassion. But who really does?  Jonah forgot were he once was and what God had saved him from becoming.  He forgot that he too was a sinner. Being blinded by self-righteousness he didn't recognize that he was still very much in need of God's grace, compassion, and mercy. Through out the book of Jonah I'm humbled by the grace, mercy, and compassion that God shows him (which he did not deserve) even in the midst of his self-righteousness and disobedience. Salvation is the Lords. So when He calls us to share The Gospel it's not up to us to decide if those he's calling us to share it with are worthy enough, but that decision has already been made.  Salvation is there for anyone with a repentant heart, no matter the offense.  Who are we to deny others this great gift that was given us. It's because of this great gift that Jonah's obedience as well as our own should be forthcoming. We are to be obedient even if we're right and justified in our thinking.  Jonah was right the Ninevites were evil; they were murderers and adulterers. They were so evil that Jonah would have rather died than to see their salvation.  

Therefore now, O Lord, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live. Jonah 4:3

  

Although Jonah was right about the Ninevites he needed to be reminded as I often do of what servant-hood looks like.  He needed to be shown that justice and salvation was not his to divvy out. When we're obedient, justice is always served one way or another, but always in God's timing.  Just a couple of books later in Nahum we find out that Nineveh would most certainly be destroyed, but that was God's sovereign choice. Jonah had to learn that He wasn't God, and that obedience, impartiality, mercy, grace, and compassion are vital parts of servant-hood.  Without them we are no longer serving God, but ourselves. Even if we're right, we shouldn't let our self-righteousness, and limited understanding stand in the way of an obedient response to God, which allows us to show His all encompassing character. God's ways and methodology will always be better than our own because they never forsake the greater vision.

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the Heavens are higher than the earth, so our my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.  Isaiah 55:8-9

Lost Identity?

No matter how you feel about Oprah, you would have to agree that her success as minority(in every sense of the word) has been phenomenal.  As she closes out 25 years of having the highest rated talk show in the history of television.  I’ve started to wonder, without her where would the presence of positive minority women in the media be found. Granted, we do have a very well spoken, well educated, and beautiful first lady, but even she has very little presence in the media when it comes to being anything other than being a fashionista. Oprah unlike our first lady  has been a constant on TV for a quarter of a century.  Not sense Phylicia Rashad’s character (Clair Huxtable) have minority women been represented so well in the media.  No African American woman before her had ever been give given such a mainstream platform. None had ever spoken with such elegance, subverting racial barriers while all the while managing her family and a successful career.  Although Clair Huxtable is a fictional character, both her and Oprah have had a profound effect on how minority women are perceived in the media.

For the past few years shows have come and gone on ABC, NBC, CBS, and FOX; and rarely if ever have I ever seen an African American, Asian, or Hispanic woman play the lead role, or be the leading man’s love interest. Currently Grey’s Anatomy is the closest we’ve come to this kind of media presence in years.  No matter how you feel about the show you have to admit they have one of the most diverse cast in television today. Usually minority women are almost always play  the role of sidekick or the funny friend.  This has been the case for years since shows like the Cosby Show, Fresh Prince of Bel-air, A Different World, and Living Single went off the air in the 90’s.  Now we’re told sub consciously that being an African American, Asian, or  Hispanic woman is only useful when your funny or when you have no visible flaws and a skin tone that our all white audiences recognize as acceptable.  I mean we’d hate to offend anyone, or make someone uncomfortable.  Television is suppose to be our ex scape, our fantasy.  The problem is, is that we’ve started to allow that fantasy to influence our reality.  This is precisely the reason why the article on CNN.com by LZ Grandersonhttp://www.cnn.com/2011/OPINION/05/19/granderson.black.women/index.html so profoundly struck me.  Although we hate to admit it, how we think is very much influenced by what we see in the media today.  We are a visually stimulated culture, we like television, movies, and magazines; we’re obsessed with pretty people, who wear pretty things, and have cute pets.  We like instant gratification and we don’t like like things that make us uncomfortable or remind us of our flaws. So what happens to a woman’s self-esteem when she never sees anyone like herself positively portrayed in the media?  She starts to doubt.  She thinks she must not be beautiful, funny, or smart, so she is incited  to do something to make herself like all the other women that are what the world recognizes as beautiful.  So black women have taken to bleaching their skin,  dying their hair, or adding lengthy extensions, and Asian women have taken to going under the knife to get their eye lids widened, and many of the same issues plague Hispanic, Caucasian, and women of every ethnicity everywhere.  I’m not thin enough, my breast aren’t big enough, I must stay young, my eyelashes aren’t long enough, my skin isn’t the right color or tone, I must be perfect.

As strong as I may seem for years I have questioned my beauty.  As much as I hate to admit it sometimes I fail to find my identity and beauty in Christ and have sought to find it elsewhere.  To be told you’re beautiful is a wonderful, freeing, reassuring thing.  The media fails to do this with any kind of consistency that will last.  But Jesus does this continuously, constantly, and veraciously .  The creator himself has indeed made us beautiful. We are his creation, so we could never be anything less than beautiful.  Now whether we are a good stewards of the beauty that God has given us is another topic, but beautiful is what we are and  daughters of the most high King is who we are. Nothing in this world can ever change that.  Our identities must be bound up with Christ; found in God alone.  This kind of reassurance and confidence will never be found in the media.  We are victorious because Christ has made us that way, we are beautiful because God created us to be so; apart from what we may look like or feel like in the present moment. We are successful because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Philippians 4:13. As women lets be faithful to remind each other where our true beauty comes from. Continuously reminding one another of how God views us.  

You shall be a crown of beauty in the hand of the LORD,  and a royal diadem in the hand of your God. You shall no more be termed Forsaken, and your land shall no more be termed Desolate, but you shall be called My Delight Is in Her,  and your land Married; for the LORD delights in you, and your land shall be married. Isaiah 62:3-4

Consistently God

“For I the LORD do not change; Malachi 3:6


I often forget that God is consistent and unchanging.  These are two of God's many characteristics that are reflected in both the new and old testaments.  He proves himself to us time and time, and time again.  He answers prayer, fulfills every promise that he makes, and provides our every need before we even think to ask, and then some. Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. James 1:17


I was reading 1st Kings 3:11-13 the other day when I was overwhelmed by God's consistent nature, his unchangeable character, and his goodness.  What's awesome is, is that He's been this way since the beginning of time.  I've  been the inconsistent, forever flaky, rebellious, unfaithful one; just like David and Solomon.

In the beginning of 1 Kings God is setting the stage to expand His kingdom and prosper His people, as well as the leadership he's established. He begins by fulfilling one of the many promises that he made to David, by making Solomon, his son, king; that was no small thing. It was  miraculous considering that the kingdom was being stolen from David and Solomon without their knowledge.  Once again here God proves himself to be trustworthy, consistent, and the ultimate promise keeper.  King Solomon realizes right away that the promise he'd inherited of being king over the multitude would not be easy; being a leader never is.  Humbled by this great responsibility Solomon ask God for an understanding mind to govern the people, so that he could discern between good and evil, because he knew that a successful reign couldn't happen without God. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33 “Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened.  Matthew 7:7-8 So God being consistent, unchanging, good, and faithful, not only gives Solomon what he ask for, but he gives him abundantly more than he even thought to ask.  And God said to him, “Because you have asked this, and have not asked for yourself long life or riches or the life of your enemies, but have asked for yourself understanding to discern what is right, behold, I now do according to your word. Behold, I give you a wise and discerning mind, so that none like you has been before you and none like you shall arise after you.  I give you also what you have not asked, both riches and honor, so that no other king shall compare with you, all your days. 1 Kings 3:11-13


Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?  Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent?  If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:9-11
I found myself after reading 1 Kings being overwhelmed, by God's goodness, consistency, and unchangeable character, but by His desire to bless us; to be our Father.  God keeps his promises and pours out his many blessings upon us; not just because we ask, but because he's our Father and it pleases him to honor our faithfulness.  Trust in the LORD, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:3-4

Back to the Cross!

You know, I really am delusional. At times I think way to highly of myself lacking Christ like humility. Sometimes I think I'm beyond temptation, and that I am no longer a sinner. This perspective is one that has poisoned the minds of many that have come before me. It's deadly!

In fighting the battle against sin and temptation I've realized that I am not beyond sin or temptation. "Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall." 1 Corinthians 10:12 Although I'm still a sinner, I'm no longer a slave to sin. I have the ability through Christ alone to resist temptation, which is the language of the flesh, that speaks to my sin nature. "But each one is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death." James 1:14-15 A lack of humility will lead me to a worldly death. It is Him who has done and is doing all the work. It is his breathe that I breath, it is His strength that upholds me, and it Is His Spirit that sanctifies me. "I have no good apart from Him." Psalm 16:2 "I am the vine you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:5

The problem with our culture is(Christian Culture), is that we have not realized our own depravity. We see everybody else's just fine, and praise ourselves for not being like them. But what we don't see, what I don't see, is that I would've been and could still easily become just like "Them" if not for the grace of God. We are not beyond sin; and we are all, murderers, thieves, and adulterers. Jesus said it best in the Sermon on the Mount. Matthew 5-7:1-27 Realizing our own depravity goes along with the sanctification process. The Cross serves as a constant reminder of our depravity and the escape from it. It is at the foot of the cross where we are humbled and lead to repentance. It is my prayer that I would be reminded daily of my own depravity, which would lead be to repentance, then praise, of a merciful, gracious, and good God who is mighty to save.

My Bike Almost Killed Me

With the birth of a new year has risen my lofty ambition to workout, to become the healthiest me I can be for the year and hopefully beyond.  After all, any good New Year's resolution should cause me to make serious lifestyle changes or the desired result will never come to pass.  Anyway, I digress.  So yesterday I decided to go for a bike ride through my neighborhood, which is much bigger than the picture I was shown on google maps (google tricks me once again).  I'm not sure what I was thinking or if I was thinking, but at 6:30pm I put on the closest thing that resembled workout clothes, grabbed my jacket, and set off.  Me and my lofty ambition.  As the 39 degree wind whipped me in the face I was feeling pretty good, cruising down the street on my lean green fat grilling machine.  I'll admit, that for a second I thought I was Lance Armstrong in the winning stretch of the Tour de France.  However the fantasy quickly gave way to reality when I realized that my decent was becoming a long accent back home.  My heart was racing, legs tingling, and at one point I'm pretty sure I lost a lung.  It was at this point when I realized some things that would put my lofty goal of Tour de Neighborhood out of reach for the moment.  Before I knew it I had turned around without hesitation, gotten off my bike, and started pushing it back home.  Then came the realization that I lacked mental stamina, which explains why I lack the ability to physically endure tough circumstances when they come my way.  When things get tough I like to quit.  

As I pushed my bike up hill, I was reminded of an old movie I'd seen called Breaking Away.  The lead character Dave is completely obsessed with competitive cycling (I'm not at this point yet).  By the final race of the movie, Dave outshines his competitors when he rides without taking a break to gain the lead in the race.  However when Dave is injured he has to stop, which causes him to forfeit the lead.  Just like Dave there will be times in our lives when we'll have to stop.  At that time the desire to quit will be stronger than ever.  Prompted by that desire we'll be tempted out of frustration and a fear of failure to cheat; to find a way around the disciplines that God has set before us, but there is no other way but His. 

A competitor like Dave never quits, so Dave has his friends strap his feet to the pedals of his bike, and amidst all the pain and agony Dave regains the lead and wins the race.  I  wonder what kept Dave going?  It couldn't have been just his physical strength, so what was it?  Mental Stamina..that's it.  This is what allows us to physically endure anything.  Jesus had it, Paul had it, and Peter had it.  They knew the reality of their mission.  They knew that hardships would surely come and when they did, they knew they would be mentally prepared for them if they keep their mind steadfast on the truth, the ultimate goal being Christ.

As Christians we have been empowered by the Holy Spirit, which indwells us and imparts truth to us, which then allows us to be strengthened at our core.  Our fleshly will, will only get us so far. So being dependent on God to strengthen our minds and hearts is where it starts.  Mental Stamina will always lead to physical endurance, but physical endurance can not be maintained if we are mentally broken.  That's why I, and you should heed Paul's words.  1 Corinthians 9:26, 2 Timothy 2:5, Colossians 2:18-19, Philippians 3:13-16, and James 1:12

Shipwrecked: The Better Plan

The other day while I was making the long drive from Virginia back to Florida, I heard this pastor on the radio addressing the subject of God's plan for our lives. He was asked what it meant when we start out with Plan A and end up on Plan B? I've asked myself this question numerous times over the past year. And after much reflection God has revealed to me that I suffer from a very limited perspective. Most of the time we equate Plan B with being bad, or being our punishment for messing up along the path of Plan A, but this perspective lacks an understanding of God's grace and who He says that He is. Sometimes we do end up having to go with Plan B, because of a circumstantial crisis caused by disobedience, or selfishness, but for most of us who would claim to follow God's leading, we wouldn't put ourselves in this category. What happens when you've sought God in prayer consistently, for direction and wisdom, and still you find yourself on Plan B?

Sometimes because of my limited perspective Plan B can feel like a shipwreck, but what I think is a shipwreck is really God's plan A. And my Plan B has been God's Plan A all along. After graduating from seminary I had to release my Plan A to God, not because it was selfish or unachievable, but because God had to revamp my plan, so that it totally reflected Him, and at this very moment He is still in the process of refining me and my original Plan A to fit His bigger, better plan for the glory of the kingdom. So in doing this, He has made what I would've considered Plan B into His plan A.

Now all of that may be a little confusing, but the point is, is that if we are seeking the Lord and following His leading there is never a Plan B, but only His Plan A. Romans 8:28 states that He is working all things out for the good of those who love Him. Our God is not a Plan B kind of god, but He works all things out according to His Plan A. So be encouraged, never loosing hope, because Plan B is right where we need to be.

"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:19

"He who calls you is faithful; he will surely do it." 1 Thessalonians 5:9